Viewing our shadow accepts in others

In life, we all meet and interact with others and gain an impression of their character. We all judge people its normal. Some people we just adore because they have curtain traits that we value, a certain humbleness or vibrancy a person has when you first met them. On the opposing end of the spectrum their people we may completely despise, appear rude and overly self-entitled like they own everything. But its more than a clash of personality’s, and you can learn a lot about your subconscious from your worse enemy’s. In today’s clarity blog I delve deeper into shadow work.

Diane Ford discuss the idea of shadow work, which is the process of integrating the unwanted aspects of ourselves and past traumas. The process leads us to becoming our complete authentic selves. When we enter this world as a baby, we already are our authentic self’s because no one’s tried to change who we are. The process of socialisation changes that, we learn wrong from right, what is acceptable behaviour or unacceptable. And what we learn is not completely negative, but ideas enforced by our parents can create fractures in our personality’s. For example, our parents may say “You have to share your toys with your brother and sisters” and when you refuse to give you a stern stare and place you on the taught step. Our desire was to be independent and have our own toys to play with, but because we were taught offer wise. We begin to suppress that desire and view it as rude. That remains through to our adult lives, we begin to label ourselves as self-less and giving individuals and value that trait and don’t even see ourselves as being a little bit selfish and reserved. These characteristics are not wrong, us at age are only doing what makes us happy, we were just taught it was wrong and enforced onto ourselves it was wrong so dissociated and suppress that trait. The child in that example was raised in a community that values sharing, so the child will adopt it.

When we meet someone that opposes those values where raised with, we react with either hatred, discussed and may even fell uncomfortable. When were around that rude, ignorant and childish person and we have that reaction to their behaviour, we react with the same emotion we felt when we taught to reject that side to us. When or teachers told us off for being stupid, when we meet that ignorant person we react with the exact same frustration that teacher gave to us. Because that’s our trigger sensation. Calling us to integrate that aspect to ourselves reminding us of our unsolved areas.

After experiencing that emotion, it’s time to think to yourself

• Why has this person (name) caused me to feel ______?

• What did this person do/say which made me feel _____?

• Who taught me _____ was wrong? (School, parents or society)

• I then want you to delve into that emotion, feel it in your heart and sink into it. And allow you to integrate it into yourself and accept that aspect.

• Either delve and conduct inner child work and go back to that first experience, which can be very abstract and uncomfortable top delve into since it’s not a clear memory. Meditate deeper into that early experience and find a way to resolve that experience. Allow that inner child to have all the toys it wants or awarded for being smart. Be sure to interact with that inner child and teach it to accept all aspects.

• question old beliefs taught, consider the advantages of becoming more selfish, ignorant or aggressive. How will it improve your life? Whatever truly works for you as an individual. The key is to integrate it.

There is an added twist to this, because there are some people we meet, who we adore. Those people represent the personality traits which we desire. Our light aspects, the ones in which we embrace. Consider a celebrity you just love. Such as Oprah Winfrey, we may adore certain personality traits, such as kindness, confidence or talent. Theses varies in each person, so surely explore that using the same process only switching wrong from right and view aspects which will also benefit you to further integrate into your life.

In result we will feel more light and more complete. A small change will take place, that frustrating individual will no longer faze you and you gain more of a higher perspective. Remember we are all born as complete individuals with all our traits. We are comprised of varies personality traits. It’s a meaning full process worth investing time in.